Thursday, 25 August 2016

Book Review: Zomcats non spoiler as possible!

Author: Jack Strange



Haha! Another book by the above author and yes it's a follow up to the amazingly refreshing read and take on zombie genre, Celebrity Chef Zombie Apocalypse.
So do you guys remember the sawblade midriff kitty Henderson? Well we all know the freaky cat got away at the end of ccza.
He managed to find his way to a small village named Nobblethwaite. The village is like any small one you'd come across anywhere in the UK. Having lived in the valleys for many years it was very nostalgic for me.
So Henderson befriends a blind man who he ends up annoying and through this ends with him getting bitten. And like the previous book, though maybe not as quickly as then the man turn into cat.
The village also has a gang of bullies also reminiscent as these villages usually do have rogue bored teens, though no where near as bad lol.

This what I love about jack's writing style is its a massively over blown parody of things that actually exist. Atleast on the real things, as zombies and zomcats don't exist, or do they?

This book is great as it introduces new things to keep it fresh but also either ties up open plots from the last or reintroduces them very well. Such as the last guy who got bit by Henderson to Floyd, kat etc. This leads to new threads and opens up to new sequel's etc.

This is the one problem I have with it, it does at times have to much going on. But that also is overlooked by the fact that Mr Strange does not get caught in a corner with his writing he gets out of these multiple threads by intelligent plots.
And instead of being a bit daunted  by all the open ends at the end of this I am actually very interested to see where the author takes the story in the future.

Final thoughts, I was very entertained by this book just like the last one I really love, possibly due to my age and the background I was brought up in the way Jack writes. I still like Roy chubby brown jokes etc, the satire and parodies ring true with me.
It's very intelligent you really have to know your material with this style. I'm rambling but it's because it's just a good style I like. Slightly less enthralling than ccza but no less fun THN rates this book a strong 4/5 stars


Saturday, 13 August 2016

Body Parts 1991

Stars: Jeff Fahey, Lindsay Duncan, Brad Dourif
                                                                    
Director: Eric Red


Budget: 10 million 

Jeff Fahey plays a criminal psychologist good at his job who gets involved in a car crash and loses his right arm. It is then replaced in a revolutionary new medical procedure.
What he doesn't initially know is the parts have come from a crazy serial killer. When Fahey's demeanor changes and he starts having violent thoughts and flashbacks he then goes digging into where the arm came from.

So this film, it's good quite a nice acting turn from Fahey who i have always liked as an actor. i think it's that steely look he can do is just good in intense situations.

So Fahey, Bill is already in the legal business working as a criminal psychologist, trying to workout and rehabilitate some of the worst criminals. He then takes this knowledge and teaches it in a university too. His life is sweet, a good wife and good kids with enough money coming in.
He gets into a horrific car accident which results in him losing his arm, disheartened and disillusioned. It forces his wife to sign a waver for a Dr Webb to try a new transplant procedure to give Bill a new arm. Quite gruesomely they remove the guys head right in front of Bill before cutting off his arm. Bill looses consciousness and then attach his new arm.
Rehabilitation goes well, surprisingly fast especially since even on the first day Bill's new arm shows a weird flinch as he finds difficulty with the initial weight.

When home his kids are scared of it even his wife unsure. Until they make love and everything is suddenly OK. He starts getting the violent flashbacks like he's murdering people and when the guy he is trying to rehabilitate recognizes the tattoo on the arms wrist as a death row tattoo Bill starts to investigate where the arm came from.
He finds out it comes from one Charlie Fletcher wanted and sentenced to death for many dour murders. He confronts Dr Webb who thinks he's slightly bonkers for thinking he could be infected by memories from a dead persons arm. He then goes to some of the other amputees who received parts from Fletcher. One is a disturbed painters who got the other arm Remo Lacey (Dourif) his paintings were shit before the transplant but now they are selling well. Bill realised they are paintings of the visions he is seeing. He doesn't heed Bill's warnings as he happy making the money he raking in now.

The second person is Mark Draper who Bill is following when Mark's leg kicks down on the accelerator almost killing him running a red light. They talk and even though mark like bill is encountering problems he's just happy to be able to walk again. Things go from worse to bad in his household when he strikes his boy for hurting his arm and he almost strangles his wife to death in bed one night.

He moves out to a hotel for the safety of his family. He then goes to demand that Dr Webb remove the arm. She refuses calls him mad and tells him to go see a psychologist as she wont risk he new found procedure from bad press. Bill meets up with both Remo and Mark in a bar to discuss the the parts, they make him feel safe and happy. But trouble starts when a guy who recognizes Bill asks to see his arm. Single-handed he takes out a bunch of people and almost kills one.
Mark returns home and something makes his legs lock up he gets scared. He then rings Bill who only gets to the phone to hear the end of the message. He goes to Marks only to find him dead and missing his legs. Unfortunately for Bill the detective thinks he is something to do with it, Bill implores him to check up on Remo.

The detective takes Bill with him to check up on Remo, Charley who is still miraculously alive having his head transplanted onto another body kills Remo taking his arm. In a handcuffed car chase both parties barely make it out alive. Bill steals the detectives car and continues the chase of Charley all the way to the hospital. Bill is knocked out and strapped to a table where Webb appears saying she will take the arm back now. See Charley is her son and Dr Webb needed a way to keep him out of the limelight for a while and using the amputees as a way to keep other parts alive.
Bill is able to tap into the killer rage we've seen throughout the film and break free. He knocks out Webb and escapes, fighting with Charlie for the shotgun. He manages to snap Charlies neck then he shoots the remaining parts to smithereens. Charlie miraculously comes back as Bill is calling the cops, that's where i stop folks its not far from the of the film, you know i don't spoil endings.

So thoughts, this film didn't do well in cinemas, home release it made some money back though. Fahey does an excellent job in his role, very believable. It's nice to see Brad Dourif in a non psychotic role for a change, doesn't make his freaky bug eyes any less googly though lol. a strong supporting cast and reasonably tight and original story too, i enjoyed this film a lot back many years ago and i even enjoyed re-watching it recently. I would recommend this for s good thriller night in and give it a good 4 out of 5 stars


Saturday, 16 July 2016

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies 2016

Stars: Lily James, Matt Smith, Sam Riley

Director: Burr Steers


Budget: $28 million


So initial thoughts?
Loved it read the book now watch the film on DVD and my god i wish i had seen this in the cinema. It was one of those things i was worried about wasting money on but now i'm sad i didn't get to see it big screen.

From the moment i put it on i was absorbed into a very believable world. Something i actually found the book didn't convey as good, not that i didn't enjoy reading it mind.

So it's of course set in Jane Austins time period piece of pride and prejudice but with the addition of a zombie apocalypse taking place. London is walled off to protect it and most men are drafted into the army to protect vs the undead. We get narration by Charles Dance about all this at the beginning anyway. We are introduced to Darcy a very nice and strong character played by Sam Riley, he dispatches a zombie with the use of carrion flies who are attracted to the zombies. This isn't a typical zombie it's got it's wits.

There's the Bennet sisters then Elizabeth played Lily James, she's beautiful and again a brilliant character. All the sisters have been trained in martial arts and hand to hand and they all excel at it. The head of the house Mrs Bennet just wants her daughters all safely married.
In a ball Jane and Bingley instantly hit it off, Darcy is also here and mentions that Elizabeth is not an appealing woman. She gets upset and leaves. Anyway after an encounter with another sentient zombie a zombie horde attacks and we see the Bennet sister spring into action dispatching them all.

Later Jane takes it upon herself to go see Bingley on a rainy day but is beset by zombies she takes one out. Then she hesitates to dispatch one with a baby. Later at Bingley's home Elizabeth arrives to see her sister, who she knows is only suffering from a fever. Darcy believes she is infected and used his flies trick in her room. Elizabeth skillfully plucks each fly from air, so souring her view of the man even more. The rest of the sisters arrive and they take Jane back home.

We are then introduced to Matt Smith's character Parson Collins. He's interested in marrying one of the sisters, seemingly anyone that will take him. He likes Jane first but retreats when he finds she's betrothed to Bingley. He then sets his sights on Elizabeth who keeps spurning him at every attempt, until one one heavy spurn finally changes his mind to choose Elizabeth's friend.

On a trip to see the Bennets aunty and after another sentient zombie attack Elizabeth meets Mr Wickham who when young was under the protection of Darcy's father. He tells Elizabeth some things that even further sours her view of Darcy.
Anyway later Wickham shows her a church where the undead are sentient and living on animal brains instead of humans. He believes if they go to Lady Catherine de Bourgh, played by Lena Heady who is actually one of the only roles in the film i didn't care for that much.Darcy also after another ball where he over hears Mrs Bennet saying about Bingley's money uses it to persuade his friend to not marry Jane.

She of course laughs his idea out of the room, Darcy corners Liz later and explains things to her that Wickham left out of stories to her. This leads her to doubt some things, Darcy even eventually asked her for her hand in marriage, leading to an awesomely hot fight between the two of them when she also spurns his advances and learns it was him who advised Bingley.


London is later attacked by quite a coordinated zombie attack theres still quite a lot to this movies to say but damn i just don't want to spoil anymore, because some things are essential to the story to keep it good while you watch. That's how much i enjoyed this flick, why it hasn't had better rating on places i don't know. 

Yes you will have persevere with old are speaking etc and the zombies are also a back story to the still main love story. (to a degree anyway, in the end every decission still because of the zombie apocalypse) I don't why this film drew me in so much or why i enjoyed it as much as I did, it is a fresh take indeed maybe that was it.

Anyway i strongly recommend giving this a go I hate this because i know a lot of people don't like it which effects my views of giving it 5/5 so i wish sometimes i did do stars by the half, but i don't and i'm not changing my formula now lol. So P+P+Z Get's 5/5 in my book!



Thursday, 14 July 2016

My Ideal Ghostbusters Movie Would Have Been This:

Scene opens with a zoomed out shot of a cemetery, some how the statue of liberty in the background. Its raining, not hard but people have umbrellas. There's only a small crowd but they are close.
The camera zooms in to two males closest to each other.

Ray: I never thought Spengler would be the first to exit our mortal coil, leaving the physical realm like this just sucks.

Winston: Do you ever not make things scientific Ray?

Ray: it is unfortunately the curse of a broad mind Winston.

Winston Shakes his head but smiles at his old friend like he wouldn't have it any other way.

Winston: We had some good times, i'll miss him, if i didn't always understand him.

Ray: stop selling yourself short Zeddemore.

We see three more figures walk up to Ray and Winston from behind.

Dana: Hey guys you ok, i'm so sorry about Egon.

Ray is about to answer when out from behind Dana steps Peter.

Ray: Venkman!, I thought you couldn't make it?

Peter: Stantzy baby come on i wouldn't miss mr slinkies funeral now, no family here?

Ray: You know how disconnected their family was, didn't expect it to be honest

Peter: so how did it happen?

Ray: You know how the ghosts kind of dried up about twenty five years ago, full apparition dispersal, even the containment unit ghosts vanished!

Dana: isn't that dangerous Ray?

Ray: no no Dana they literally faded out from this existence with no major nodes left, like Vigo or the zuul

Dana shivers at the mention of Zuul. the big twenty something looking guys eyes suddenly light up.

Oscar: is that bad guy who took me?

Peter: Oscar you know your poor mother hates that, Sorry Ray inferior breeding.
Venkman pulls a cross eyed face pointing to the big guy. Ray laughs.

Ray: So yes he kept investigating their disappearance afraid it meant something, then some trans-dimensional portal he was working on backfired killing him

Dana winced at this while Peter frowns, the rain seems to let up and the priest runs from where he was waiting to start the sermon. both Janine and Louis stand the other side of the grave the offer a small wave.
The priest does the sermon.

Peter: oh here comes a nark

Peter points as some official type comes running towards them as Egon's funeral draws to a close.

Trebor: Good day, my name is Trebor, I represent everything Mr Spengler was in life.

Peter: we ain't paying nothing friend.

Trebor frowns and continues.

Trebor: No Mr Spengler gave me this book to give to a Mr Ray Stantz, The Funeral on the other hand was well compensated for.

Trebor hands a parcel to Ray and huffs off back towards a black car.

Ray: you do have a way with official people Peter

Peter: It's a gift, what you got there Ray?

They all watch as Peter snatches the parcel and unwraps a book, which he scrutinizes.

Peter: some book, it says about the existence of ghosts by some women Erin Gilbert and Abby Yates.

Winston: What does this have to with Egon?

They open the book and in Egons writing in the inside cover it says seek out these women, we will need them for the future. Peter and Dana Frown.

Dana: Me and Peter have get back for Sara, she's in her last year of school.

Oscar: Oh wow, I could stay with with the guys and help them mom, if they want?

Peter: Yeah you do that, it'll be good for you, the guys won't mind

Peter winks at the guys who just nod in confirmation.

Ray: Then it's settled we find this woman.

Fade to black

The same thing happens in the mansion with the tour, tour guide etc
Fade to black.

At the university where Erin Gilbert works, her book seems to magically reappear as she is seeking tenure in the university. Fed up of the ribbing she quits.
On her way out carrying her box of belongings Ray stantz pulls up in a dilapidated ecto 2.

Ray: hey young lady, i was wondering if you knew where I could find a metaphysical specialist by the name of Erin.

She looks at him doubtfully,

Erin: Why do you want to know who she is?

Ray: Oh i was wondering if she would like to talk to me about this book I found?

Erin rolls her eyes.
Erin: Someone else to laugh jokes at my old work, I get it ok ghosts don't exist!

Ray: Young lady i would assume by the defensive way you talk, you are indeed Dr Gilbert

Erin: Yes, yes i am

Ray: What if i was able to tell you ghosts did exist and me and a specialized team used to fight them a long time ago?

Erin: So the rumors are true, are you Dr Egon Spengler?

Ray: No i am an associate of his, Dr Ray Stantz, unfortunately Dr Spengler has passed on.

Erin: Oh!, Oh dear, he kept contacting me recently something about a psychomagnetherical disturbance of large proportions, I thought he was just another person who found my book and wanted to take the piss.

Ray: No Miss Erin I believe that Dr Spengler may have been on to something before he died and he believes you and maybe the other author of this book may be able to once again help save the great city that I like to call New York, and the world. Now let's go and find your colleague.

A slightly bewildered Erin puts her items in the car and enters herself, glancing to the back to see four dusty proton packs in a rack, her eyes widen as the familiar ecto 2 wail starts up.
Fade to black.
Next Scene:
Ray meeting Abby and her associate Holtzmann, this scene right after the last, Jill dribbles over the old proton packs, since she's been working on similar stuff.

Next scene:

Unable to afford the rent on the old fire station, after selling his book store Ray rents a room above the same Chinese store. Give Oscar (who i haven't mentioned is still the exactly same Chris Hemsworth character Erin dribbles over)

So they are called to the mansion where they take then actual old proton packs and traps, Ray guaranteeing they will still work, ( half life of a thousand years etc) The encounter the ghost but the pke meter is giving strange signals like this ghost isn't made of the same stuff.
They get slimed, well Erin does, they try to bust the ghost the proton streams destroying shit like usual. but the beams don't seem to wrangling the ghost, even the trap seems to not work.
When Abby and Erin accidentally cross their streams the protonic reversal ( as explained by Ray that this ghost must have been forcibly summoned for the protonic reversal to send it back to where it came from instead, in a later scene)
Him and Holtzmann start work on a new reversed proton stream pack, as well as other reversed proton weapons.
Patty still joins the way she does, in fact have her as Zedemores niece or something too. The older ghostbusters now take a back seat as the rest of the movie pretty much plays out the same way, except we find out that Egon had found out that Rowan is using part of the building from the original film to power the machine that calls ghosts forth. (he also used to live in the building and was fed up of telling the story but no one believing him so he's used part of it to prove to everyone but it's taken him this long to figure out how)
So he killed Egon, linking him further into the film as a more fleshed out character too and all the more reason to bring his ass to justice.

As said the rest goes pretty much the same just with this new stuff woven in the mix, making an overall good sequel NOT a reboot, starring 4 women that now take over the title from the older guys who just work in the background.

Film over.

Wednesday, 13 July 2016

Through the Devils Eye's (2014)

Stars: James Andre, Gyana Lua, Hannah Tippit


Budget: $1500

Director: RJ Cusyk

I was asked to do a review of this by Decades Apart Prod, they are a movie production company specializing in movies with 'micro' budgets. I have not been paid or compensated in any other way than allowed to watch the movie in return for my views upon it's quality.
As you can see this film has an amazingly low budget of only $1500. The premise is a mentally ill young man living in a halfway house is out to prove his innocence when one of the house mates is horribly murdered.

Written AND Directed by RJ Cusyk, the film stars James Andre also been in a film table 47 in 2015 and Gyana Lua also in TV series Anomaly.
A few of the actors etc also helped with sets, clothing etc. This must have drastically helped with the budget. Experimental and small budget things like this really brings out the best in people i find and always find it  a pleasure to watch these films. So without further adieu let's see what Through the Devils Eyes has to offer us!!!

immediately on opening the film has a certain throwback feel to it, with the music score being heavy strings and the lighting and filming style/treatment. certainly has that feeling of mid 70's to early 80's flicks about it. I did get a feeling at the beginning and occasionally throughout that some scenes were films without the actor there or out of sequence then cut together later, this isn't a bad thing just an observation on my part. Although it makes the lines and reactions seem a little off in these scenes. However this isn't a persistent problem the lines get more fluid just a few minutes into the film thankfully.

You can also tell this was pretty much done take for take on their budget this is perfectly acceptable as they would have had to gone on people time constraints and other factors. In fact i'm impressed even at the 20 minute mark how they managed to pull this off for such a low amount. They must have a lot of well meaning friends.

Right so James plays David he's not exactly likable right away but that's probably due to the type of life he's led. He's dropped off at this halfway house where a doctor looks after people in similar situations. He sequentially meets all the other house mates and the doctor and his assistant. The house mates are mixed bunch one a bully, another a guy oddly dressed. David refers to him as a cross dresser but i think a skirt/dress hardly = tranny lol. There's Barbara who opens the cheese with dialog like bodaciously cute guys, though it's very tongue in cheek.

he meets the rest around the table at dinner Barbara changes her tone considerably here due to Davids being a dick earlier. Despite being told they like all the residents to have dinner together they all quickly disperse for various reasons.
Then while outside smoking the jock asshole Toby is taken out with a knife to the throat, pretty pleasing as he was a massive dick. Also quite early on surprisingly.

His body is found and everyone suspects the other around the table in the morning. Especially Rebecca who threatened him the night before. For some reason David turns into super sleuth at this point checking all the clues that are left behind.
David then forgets about it all and goes about doing odd jobs around the neighborhood. David seems to know an unusually large amount of things linked to killers too. Though Rebecca has been taken into police custody we find out later on (to bad Rebecca was hot lol).

So yes this is the twenty minute mark i was on about the film gains leaps and strides here in these dialog scenes. We learn a lot more about both David and the guy in dresses too this is really good story here. It's also here that we do learn it's set in the 80's if Mario 2 has just been released 1987 I think.

David goes back to work for the same guy later though his attitude seems to have soured a little since last time (maybe everyone in this town is a little bi polar?). He still sets David some almost impossible tasks to do (one incredibly shity shitter) and in an 80's montagesque scene we see him clean the lot up, impressing the guy who thought he was just another one of 'the punks' of his generation. Paying David his money in a hearty handshake. He is then brutally stabbed while David is outside having a drink.

Of course this points most the houses eyes to David now, especially since Mario 2 doesn't go down well with the some of the others too. But everyone does have their own view on how and who is to blame.

We later learn the traumatic even that made David the way he is, but he keeps being told the story only to later block it out again. They want him to remember the specifics of what happened but his mind doesn't allow him. As you can tell i'm trying not to give away to many details about the film so if you decide to watch it you can gauge these for yourself. He runs off to his room and we then see the full traumatic event that happened to him, well to a girl named Beverly.

Barbara then finds black gloves and a knife in Davids room just as the cops come to ask him for a blood sample, they then think the police have come for him due to this evidence. The Doc's assistant doesn't believe this and runs to ask the Doc what's going on.
Then despite the police proving that the blood at the scene of the crime was not his, he seems to think this is emough evidence that it was not him. The rest of the house doesn't believe him, though the Doc believes he is being framed. They tell David to go off so they can try to catch the real killer, the Doc is then killed.

The assistant runs in after finding his corpse accusing David of the crime, who seems dumbfounded at the accusations. He just about manages to talk her out of calling the police saying that a cut on the body will prove who the murderer is. Typically three out of the five of them have cuts on their legs or arms, but Mary gets hysterical when asked about hers. They believe she tried to frame David for a murder because she likes Rebecca.

David tries some unsuccessful reconciliation which is followed with their last meal together as i suspect with the Doc dead there will be no more halfway house. Poor old Ralph is then killed, I felt the most sorry for him as he's just a totally innocent idiot in all this. It's some damn unlucky shit that it's always David who stumbles upon this stuff all the time, but he does manage to spook the killer and give chase but doesn't capture him/her or get a good look in the dark.
Once the cop is called again we then get the reveal of who the killer really is, I must say this was a surprise to me. I mean genuinely threw me a curve-ball here.I suspected this person maybe third out of the potential killers. So grand job there film.

So this basically the end of the film it does end abruptly and with some freaky screaming after such a build up but well it what else can you expect it's clean cut at least.

So thoughts on this film?
I enjoyed it a lot it's not, well far from perfect actually but it shows a finesse and tight storyline that only an ultra low budget film like this can achieve. Yes some of the acting is hamy, but what do you expect when you get something like together?
You have to work within your boundaries and I think this film does that in a spectacular fashion, it never tries to overreach  or make it'self convoluted in anyway. It doesn't branch off on other tangents it stays true to it's roots there's a main character who travels through this film and we watch that adventure from start to finish.
You seriously could not do anything else with this film it's straight forward throwback thriller and better than most of the offerings that were about at the time this was set. It feels somewhere between a grindhouse flick and a b-movie slasher.
This won't be everyones cup of tea it will be TO cheap for some, TO bad acting for others, but if you truly want a good homage done on an amazingly low budget this is the film for you. This is no ass kissing or anything because hell the film has flaws i pointed them out but for what it offers i believe these can be overlooked.

THN proudly awards this film a good 4 stars out of 5


Monday, 11 July 2016

Ghostbusters 2016 (Non spoiler)

Stars: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Wiig    


Director: Paul Feig

Budget: 154 million

OK I went to watch it, right i've added to the films recuperation's of its budget.

Well what can I say. First i want to say a massive fuck you to feminists because I love women, i'm a nerd I'm happy to be with someone anyway they want to be, that's enough about my sad life.
More on the feminist stuff later though, because it's just not fair with some of the shit they pull in this film.

Right there's a lot to get through here. So this film is blatantly an obvious money grab aimed at kids but with flimsy cameo's and call backs to try and interest the older buster's fans.

I don't know WHY they didn't spin this off as a ghost-busters 3 considering they jumped through hoops to get most of the original cast back like that. Especially Bill Murray, which is now totally wasted if they ever want to get to him back again.
So Wiig is friends with McCarthy they believe in ghosts and when they actually start to invade they form a team with Kate's character who is a nuclear physicist. Then Leslie Jones character basically bullies her way into the fourth position.

Lets talk about one of the funniest parts of the movie, for me at least Chris Hemsworth he is a lovable idiot, which draws me to the first-ish feminist point. Now Wiig's character is a simpering fawn to him and they even make allusions that all men should be like him?
Now thats totally unfair yes men should be taking a better of themselves, me in particular but we don't need it shoved in our faces that that is the perfect man. Not only that do women turn into simpering idiots when a massive good looking men are around?
Isn't that unfair on women?

OK next part, the bad guy is the blandest part i've ever seen he's just the most simple bit of rubbish ever, a destroy the world type. He's responsible for the ghosts, i wont say how as not to spoil anything major.
There's a genuinely funny part when they are testing the proton packs, also scary too, until some totally unfunny shite suddenly detracts from it unfortunately.

Right lets get to meat of the movie, This is a typical Paul Feig movie, him and McCarthy work great together, i'm sorry but i do love the woman, She's a bigger lady which is great and pretty with it too and that acting/comedy talent is just the icing for me. I know she's not everyone's cup of tea but well that's the same with everyone each to their own.
Wiig is also decent in her role as are the other two, in fact i'd say McKinnon's character is grossly under used compared to the presence she had in earlier trailers. So yes typical, which means for me this was bridesmaids acting as ghost-busters. If this film had been called anything other than the cash grab use of a nostalgic name, it wouldn't have had this backlash.
It's ten times better than pixels in that respect, these women are good in their roles where as Sandler's crew was awkward. So calling this specter-hunters would have been a much better thing than trying to rely on a name and cameo's to pull in the punters.

So the punters this is by far aimed at kids and not adults as such, though the original one was aimed at teens. Saying that it did have some genuine scary moments and at points the ghosts were actually quite scary. Again the trailer showed neon cgi monstrosities another thing the trailer did bad (that's just the last act) so yes some are scary the underground, the mirrors etc very TWD inspired.
Spoiled again by the last act of the film where yes it's just neon colored VERY CGI mess.

OK this may be slightly spoilery but I have to bring up, both of these things. Right Kate licking her gun, that is a clear phallic send a shiver up boys spines moment, again feminists?
Isn't this playing to the woman performing oral on a man?
Also the way they defeat some ghost's one in particular, but if i mention which that it's just spoiling. This ghost is beating by them shooting it IN THE CROTCH emasculating isn't? For women blowing a ghost away by destroying it's (make believe) dick?

Now as for innervation in the movies technology the proton bomb, shotgun, fist are amazingly thoughtful. There's so much i tried to like and some much that fell flat on it's face though, again i'll mention the cameo's and even the scene comparisons to the original too. So that's what i have to say on this movie. Also it does actually show that Feig didn't want to do this film asked three times?

So funny? Yes occasionally
Good Acting? Yes the ladies are established in their roles especially the roles Feig usually writes for his girls.
Does this film succeed? Unfortunately no, just in my books it doesn't know where it stands with it's fan base. Does it want new ones or does it want to pander to the old ones with stupid cameo's and scene parodies.
I do intend to write something of an addition to this film that I think in my books would have worked and pleased everyone to a much bigger degree.
So with this My score if this had been an original Feig work it wold have been a weak three out of five, but now as a cheap cash grab? Sorry it's a two star affair.


Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Scariest movie of all time: Michael Jackson's Moonwalker, 1988

Stars: Michael Jackson, Joe Pesci, Sean Lennon

Budget: $22 million

Directed by: Various


Ah childhood memories of this were so blurred until I recently re-watched it. And yes i genuinely believe it belongs in the horror genre.
No it's not particularly scary but there are genuine odd and confusing moments in here that made me uncomfortable.
Both as a child and as an adult.

So this film, if you can call it a film and not just a massive ego trip of a music video then we shall continue. Some would call it an anthology too. I do not, anthology to me is like body bags or creep show (anthology horror films are some of my favourite)

This film is cut up into many different parts weakly linked together with transitions. The first segment is 'the man in the mirror' a performance from his BAD tour. This would be fine if it wasn't interspersed by people like martin Luther king, mahatma Gandhi, Jesus and other icon figures. Is Michael trying to compare himself to these icons?

Does he think he can make a change or become as big and famous as they are/were?
It's a big ask even though he was a massive star of the times, hell I LOVED Michael, i still do despite accusations. This man innovated music and the times with his life, to a saintly degree though?
I think that's asking a lot from anyone even some of the other figures mentioned. This disturbed me as an adult now i understand it more.

We then get a musical montage of his life through the times in strange Monty pythonesque cartoons from the Jackson five to the BAD album. It's strange to say the least. One of the disturbing sequences i found as a kid with all the changes.

We then get another segment where the song BAD is performed by child actors portraying each of the characters from the original music video. I find this funny and one of the few decent parts of the actual film, some don't like it I do.

The young people walk off then transition through some steam or smoke and poof they are older now, Michael is seen and recognized by strange claymation puppets. These freaked me the hell out when i was a kid, the whole face morphing stuff with the fans was freaky. They chase Michael around for ages until he come across a rabbit disguise, I have come to know this rabbit is called spike now.

He escapes to another music video speed demon this time, with morphing hijinks to dodge various dangers along the ride. He thinks he's escaped the rabble out in the desert and removes the Spike costume. It miraculously comes to life and they have a dance off.
Michael is then told off by a police officer who points out a sign that there's 'no dancing' here, he's given a ticket and Spike has vanished, only to morph out of a rock and wink at him later.
Aside from the freaky fans I like the Spike bits they are fun and have a certain, to me at least panache to them.

We then get another music video segment for leave em alone. His music video backlash to all the media attention he receives. from his friendships to his pets to pretty much how he even sleeps at night. I liked this segment it portrays how some people will blow out of proportion any little bit of info they can get on someone famous. Now don't get me wrong Michael certainly deserved a lot of the shit he got, I mean he did indeed get a lot of crazy later on in his life but i think this is just him being a child like man who took a lot of bad or stupid advice.

So we come to the creme ala creme of the film. The smooth criminal part, this is quiet the most movie part of the movie. We see three kids spying on Michael who is suddenly beset upon by typical bad guys who can't fire straight. We see that an undetermined time earlier Mike is playing with the kids when their dog vanishes into some woods. They look for him and stumble into Joe Pesci, playing himself, no 'Mr big' Who intends to supply the worlds kids with drugs. (i'm not scared of spiders but the globe full of tarantulas made me jump as a kid) They are found and chased by his thugs after the girls makes some noise.

He runs, and runs and runs and runs. Then turns into a car and goes to a club he asked the kids to meet him at. He hides out in a club which was previously empty in the kids scene. Flicking a coin into the jukebox from across the bar he breaks out into Smooth Criminal. One of the coolest dance sequences I have ever seen back as a kid and even today in a lot of respects happens with some awesome dancing.v(apart from a weird bit in the middle)
Mr Big's goons surround the club and Michael whips out a Tommy gun shooting them through the windows. The girl is captured and Michael follows them back to Big's lair. Katie manages to get free while some people wail on Michael, then a magic star flies past them.
This is the next bit that freaked me as a kid, Michael removes his hands from his face and it turns scarily metallic and opens up in a freakish way. he turns into a giant robot and kills all of Big's men, he then turns into a big spaceship and flies by the kids.
Big who has now mounted a giant laser cannon gets a shot off at Michael damaging him. Michael then powers up a mega beam and kills Big. The kids say he going now and Mike does just fly off, with tear in their eyes.

Strangely they make or had made a special wishing star, and poof Michael is back despite the tears etc of the earlier scene. The kids are reunited with the dog and Michael goes on to do another concert.

So this film hey? It's not good not at all but does offer some very deep innovations which has left resounding and lasting impact on both the film and music video world. It's good in a way that Marmite is some like it some hate it. Personally i hate it, which is to say I don't hate the film I just see it as a mishmash of strange things that come, nay are forced together into some kind of semblance of a story-line your trying to follow.


For that i'm giving the film a 2 stars out of 5, I would say watch it at least once just to see the spectacle that was Michael Jackson, perhaps this is the way he saw the world, perhaps not we'll never know and just get stuck with hear'say.