Sunday, 26 February 2017

THN Top 5: Childs Play/Chucky Kills

The demon doll, the nice guy toy who is possessed by the soul of a killer. Chucky in his multitudinous movie series has killed his fair share of folks despite being a diminutive killer action figure. Some like all of the slasher flick genre have been funnier or more creative than most. With so many unique and interesting ways to kill here's just a few of my favourite Childs Play kills:

5. Hammerfall
From child's play 1 young Andy is being looked after by his mum's friend, one of chuckys first kills as a doll is Maggie. She gets bludgeoned with a hammer a few times before crashing through the top floor apartment window to a messy death on the pavement.

4. Catch a Grenade For You
Child's play 3 has some of the most gruesome and creative deaths of the whole series. After a live ammo incident Chucky proceeds to try and kill a bunch of army cadets and Andy with a grenade. Brave Harold leaps onto the grenade smothering the blast but gutting himself in the process.

3. Mirror, Mirror on the Ceiling?
From bride of Chucky we see two people canoodling on a bed when a champagne bottle is thrown into their lovely mirrored ceiling. Suffice to say it doesn't end to well for the receiving party.

2. Ammo exchange
Back to child's play 3 and in a mad bid to stop all opposition so he can put his soul in a new body Chucky swaps out all the blank rounds for live ammo.
It's not a pretty sight as we see young cadets start to cut each other down, until someone notices.

1. Eyeball replacement
My favourite and funniest kill of the series is in child's play 2 where the technician in the good guy factory is knocked onto the conveyor and subsequently has his eyeballs smashed into his head by a pair of dolls eyes, so funny seeing him laying there with them in his face.

Review: Killer Mermaids (2014)

Stars: Franco Nero, Kristina Klebe

Budget: Can't find

Directed by: Milan Todorovic

A Serbian b-movie that I recently
found on Netflix, the write up and
Pictures got me a little interested in
This cheaply made horror flick.
I was unfortunately disappointed
by what I watched. No means a bad
movie especially by b-movie
standards it was just so slow and boring
for the first 50 minutes in a maximum
run time of 96 minutes or so.
With the name as well it takes a good while before we are even treated to a glimpse of the mermaid.

So let's get on with the film shall we, not 5 minutes into its run time we are treated to b-movie boobies. When a man and woman are making out on a small stone jetty, port?
I'm not sure which, anyway even with the prospect of bewbs right in his face the dude ignores said jubblies and gets lured into the ocean.
He subsequently vanishes under the waves and an unknown person watches on, miss topless then proceeds to beg this guy for help only to get a massive hook in her neck. Which has some of the best practical effects in the film, good for a b-movie too.

We are then treated to the lovely form of another woman Lucy who gets out of a pool to shout at her friend Kelly whose working while they are supposed to be holidaying.
They've gone to meet an old college friend Alex who was some kind of lethario in their college days and had a thing with Lucy.
They meet up and it appears Alex has a new fiancee much to Lucy's chagrin. The proceed to party and the dialogue feels so strained at times and the topics they talk about surely college friends should know about each other.

Like Kelly's fear of water because of her brother drowning, this is all things that pad out the first boring 50 minutes or so of this film. Including Alex having a quick fling with Lucy that never really goes anywhere.
Also don't bank on any more boobs either the beginning was all your getting, the main actresses must have been like no way!

So they go to quaint little island and then the next day discover a disused military base, one of the women see's another structure on a near island that used to a prison Alex explains.
A new fellow suddenly pops out of the water totally freaking out the women but then magically charms them much to Alex's chagrin this time. We then learn he's a friend of Alex's fiancee, they arrange to meet up later for a drink. Before they leave Kelly spots an older guy over on the bases port.

Later on over drinks they discuss going to the prison, Alex is reluctant to take his yacht so boban says they take his boat. They are then warned by every horror movie staple, the crazy old guy to stay away from the island.

They of course ignore his ramblings and go to the island, they witness a man named Niko tip human remains down a well. When Kelly thinks she sees a woman down there thing suddenly from bad to worse and the film suddenly picks up some steam.
Although it's mostly Niko who starts to pick off the merry bunch one by one, we find out later he under control of the mermaid who actually loves him!
Alex gets attracted by the song and killed when we actually see the mermaid properly after 60 minutes or more with some piss poor CGI effects thrown into the mix.
Boban's boat is sunk and after he gets badly hurt only him and Kelly make it off the island after seemingly killing Niko.

Seems mermaid screaming will bring an old dead guy back to life. They escape from him a second time through tunnels connecting the island, they are then miraculously saved by the crazy old dude.
I'll stop there as there's not much left and if anything the last 20-30 minutes of this film make the boring first two 3rds of this film just about watchable.

I also found out this movie has been named a number of things from the above title to nymph, just killer mermaid and also Mamula. THN awards this film a 2 out of 5 stars based only on the last one 3rd of this film, watch if bored...

Monday, 20 February 2017

THN Fun: What is Your Horror Movie Name?

Ok let's introduce a new topic to THAN, why can't we have a bit of fun hey?
Horror movies do so, so should we!
Introducing what's your Slasher name!
Take your month of birth, hair colour then eye colour.
January - Professor
February - Slasher
March - Masked
April - Crazy
May - Demonic
June - Killer
July - Mangler
August - Nightmare
September - Feasting
October - Ghoulish
November - Festering
December - Satanic

Hair Colour:
Brown - Insane
Black - Mad
Ginger - Blood
Red - Knife
Grey - Dead
Blonde - Immortal

Eye Colour:
Blue - Zombie
Brown - Vampire
Grey - Friend
Green - Child
Mixed - Toy

Let me know down below or on Twitter what your horror movie name is.
Mine is - Professor Insane Zombie!

Thursday, 16 February 2017

THN Top 5: Spring/Summer Based Horrors

Aah it's coming folks the balmy warmth of spring caressing us like a lover, then the full on intensity of the inferno called summer stalking us like some obsessed maniac.
Who can tell I both hate the sun and heat?
Did I make it obvious enough?
So to kick-start these seasons off and to help sufferers like me hide away from the cloying sun, I have compiled here 5 of my favourite spring or summer based horror films.
Coming in at number five is,

5. I Know What You Did Last Summer
Aah back when the teen slasher horror genre had a bit of a come back then killed itself off like a skinny dipping teenager by going to far. From the like of scream starring many familiar faces we then got this, another run of the mill slasher featuring faces we recognised from shows such as Sarah Michelle Gellar from Buffy, Johnny Galecki from Roseanne and a whole host of other kids for hook fodder.
So a bunch of teens get drunk and run a guy over thinking they killed him they throw his body into the bay and promise each other not to tell anyone.
A little while later they start dying believing it to be the guy or one of the other friends.
It was enjoyable at the time but doesn't really hold up to times test now. Watch it for nostalgia or to see how the slasher flick revival came and went.
This spawned 2 sequels I still know and I'll always know what you did last summer. The latter I'm not sure if I've seen as it came quite late in 2006. Either that or it's so bad I erased it from my memories.

4. Zombi 2 or Zombie Flesh Eaters
Set in the blazing sun of tropical locations, I LOVE anything to do with zombies and I think this one of the first ones I seen aside from night of the living dead and return. This one absolutely put the shits up me, I mean this scared me I was young like 11 or something.
The zombies seemed so realistic and so animalistic compared to the zombie movies I had seen before.
For instance a zombie literally has a fight with a shark over who gets to eat it's victim!
Here's also the infamous eyeball on a giant splinter scene. If you want a great retro scare with good practical effects then this is for you. This is also part of a zombi series but each film isn't really linked to the other.

3. Jaws
The classic shark horror film based on Peter Benchley's novel where a killer great white shark comes to the shores of the popular beach town of Amity Island. She then proceeds to kill anyone silly enough to go in the waters.
Even when the local sheriff tries to shut down the beach the money hungry men of the town refuse as summer is their most lucrative time. Now this does it's scares really simple, slow pans building music and yes the occasional jump scare, head bobbing out of boat anyone?
A great horror movie possibly one of the best and most original stories ever put into film.

2. Piranha
There once was a time when going into the water was a most terrifying experience, a number of other creature features spawned from the success of Jaws. Except this was more of a parody of Jaws especially as it done by b-movie aficionado Roger Corman.
This time some bizarre genetically altered piranha are let lose into a nearby river they make their way towards Lost River Lake, a popular summer vacation spot. The heroes of the movie must stop the little devils before they reach the spot and devour all the holiday goers.
A fun movie that parodies Jaws horror with comedy and gore in excess, worth a watch though.

1. Friday the 13th
The original camping horror film that spawned one of the most recognizable faces, no masks of all time. We talk about the hockey mask of course.
Though the first movie it's Jason's mother Pamela Voorhees this doesn't make it any less of a horror, in fact it adds to the terror that some late forties woman is stalking and killing teens in their prime.
So why this crazy woman killing people in this summer camp?
Her son Jason was a disabled boy and while he drowned two councilors who should have been watching the children were off having sex. This film spawned countless slasher flicks based in summer camps and a long living films series. This is why this tops the list of summer/spring horror films!

Saturday, 11 February 2017

Review: Victor Frankenstien (2015)

Stars: Daniel Radcliffe, James McAvoy

Budget: $40 million

Directed By: Paul McGuigan

The story thats been told a million times in a million different ways finds quite a new way to retell the story from a different perspective.

That perspective is Igor's (Radcliffe), that's right we see the usually hunchbacked manservant of Victor's (McAvoy) background story.
From being the circus as a freak and a clown to being rescued due to his brilliant knowledge of medicine and the human anatomy.
Mainly self taught and from being the circus troupes on hand doctor should anyone need treating.

He is bullied and treated badly at the hands of the circus folk despite them being his 'family' When Victor see's him save the life of one of the trapeze artists he loves using a remarkable medical procedure he see's the potential the young man has.

Rescuing Igor In quite a flamboyant way they both escape after one of the circus members kills one of the other performers. A heavily Christian  police detective gets involved due to this and seems to get very personal towards Victor.
Victor seemingly violently attacks Igor once they get back to his place, what he really does is extract all the puss from the abscess on his back and force his spine straight with the help of a back brace.
He never realised that it wasn't a deformity just a cyst that's been on him for many years.

With Igor's help Victor is able to accelerate his work on dead tissue, Igor due to the kindness Victor has shown him is only all to happy to help him. The two become very good friends over the course of the film. Igor visits the girl from the trapeze accident frequently until she is removed by a lord who vows to look after her. However he hasn't lost her as this is just a front for the lord who prefers 'the company of men' She eventually recognizes Igor and they get along well.

They manage to create life with a monkey corpse and a few other bits. but when it goes mad in attempt to show some rich benefactors (of which Victor still manages to secure funding) the detective cottons onto what they are trying to do and does everything in his power to stop Victor.
Victor and Igor eventually have a falling out when Igor tries to get Victor to stop what he's doing and also rescue him from a mob that the detective has used to try and break into Victor's barricaded apartment. Escaping he leaves Igor behind to be almost killed by Victor's benefactor, Victor takes off for the benefactors family castle in Scotland.
The story of Frankenstein's monster pretty much starts from this point this on, except for the fact that Igor goes to try save Victor. That's pretty much the last 15-20 minutes of the film.

So you know here at THN we don't spoil the ending to films unless they're so abysmal we really don't think it's worth watching. Now this film is not great, despite both Radcliffe and McAvoy giving superb performances. I mean they really have great chemistry with each other and both leap head on into their roles. It's just something doesn't work be it the story, the pacing or supporting cast.
I can't quite put my finger on it but it's definitely a mix of the last three that makes this film lose one star from it's rating here. So yes it's only 2 out of 5 stars here at THN but i think it's definitely worth a watch for the two leading men's roles, other than that leave alone.

Sunday, 5 February 2017

Review: They Look Like People (2015)

Stars: MacLeod Andrews, Evan Dumouchel


Directed By: Perry Blackshear

This film is more s psychological thriller than horror film, this does not however leave it lacking in tense scenes.
Wondering if these demons are real or some figment of  a mad mans imagination.

MacLeod plays a man who truly believes he is seeing demons, aliens, whatever their meant to be. The film does state demons at one point but i think it's a little open to interpretation.

So Wyatt (Macleod) goes to stay with his friend after waking in the middle of the night to what he thinks is his fiance turning into some creature.
He gets phone calls and texts from mysterious voices telling him that he has to prepare for a war that is coming.

We also see him freaking out whenever he thinks someone is changing or has become one of these beings. This is usually accompanied by some insect like buzzing noises.
When describing this he says people eyes turn their grin widens and heads split, this would be very frightening to someone even if it is just a hallucination. There's the crux though is it real or not?

His friend who he literally turns up on his doorstep Christian (Evan) invites him to stay for a while, he can see something is troubling his friend. They have been friends for a long time which is established throughout the films length and dialogue.
He gets keys cut for him, offers to get him a job asks him questions about his fiance and whats been going on in his life. Christian isn't without his problems too, constantly listening to self help tapes and trying his hardest in work and his love life.

Christian does get in with a girl from work, Mara. Both Christian and Wyatt meet her and a friend but her friend has fallen and concussed herself. They seem to has a good time getting to know each other while her friend is in the hospital.
All the way through despite good things happening we see Wyatt slowly descend into madness as he prepares himself for this coming 'war'. Such as buying assorted tools to use as weapons and sulfuric acid as he is told on the phone this really hurts the monsters.
As the film progressed he starts to think people closer to him are being taken over, even Mara who thinks is one of the people warning him on the phone. Except when he goes to see her later to apologize for being mad in front of her, we see her actually begin to change.

We don't see it fully but it is hinted to be horrific, so that's near the end of the film. I won't spoil any further like usual but i will say this is good plot and the actors make it all the more believable with spectacular performances. Especially Wyatt, we really don't know if he's seeing what he saw or its all really in his head. Not a totally great film but worth a watch on a boring afternoon.
THN awards this films 3 out of 5 stars.